On Eagle’s Wings

Posted Aug 30, 04:07 PM by Kay Camenisch

The latest saga in my adventure of publishing Uprooting Anger gives further testimony of God’s goodness. When a book is approved for printing, publication and distribution, it’s ready to sell, right?

Consequently, I began selling Uprooting Anger on the website and booked a conference in Dallas to promote it the end of September. The conference is sponsored by the Coalition of Prison Evangelists, and will be attended by prison ministries from across the US and other countries. It will offer an opportunity to introduce the book for use in prisons, and for us to get a feel for the market.

Last week, I was informed that it will be over five weeks before my order is filled. With dismay, I realized that a church that has already begun the study, using photocopied pages, will have to wait several more weeks to get their books. The books already sold from the website will also be embarrassingly late. I then realized that I would not have Uprooting Anger to present at the conference where I already had a table reserved!

My expectation of quick delivery was a bit unreasonable because of my lack of experience. My appeals and pleads for a quicker response were in vain. It seemed there was nothing I could do. I felt helpless.

It then occurred to me that since prison ministries will be given permission to make copies from e-books, I would not have to have hard copies of Uprooting Anger to sell it. Since I expect to sell e-books, maybe we would be ok at the conference without the actual book. It wouldn’t have the same visual appeal, but we could make it work.

With renewed hope, I called to be sure the e-book availability was being initiated. Once again, I was brought up short. I had assumed too much and not asked the right questions. First, there was now an unexpected administrative charge. Second, the publisher didn’t provide the e-book at their site, it would be listed on another site. (That was a problem, because my promotional material was already printed with the wrong site on it.) Third, it couldn’t be available for six to eight weeks—i.e. after the scheduled Dallas conference!

We were now committed to travel to Dallas, with all the energy, time, and dollars involved, to present a product we didn’t have. I felt trapped, betrayed. I had a really good opportunity to practice the principles I wrote about in Uprooting Anger! I know that much of the problem was my lack of understanding and assumptions, but that didn’t lessen the despair I felt.

I began to question if we were running ahead of God. Were we supposed to pursue a ministry to inmates? We don’t have money to spend on dead end streets. Maybe we should cancel our trip to the conference.

That all unfolded on Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday. Wednesday night Robert had the idea of putting the book on CD to offer at the conference. Thursday morning I called our son, Daniel, who has the experience to tell us what it would take and how to go about it. I checked his source for CDs and was shocked by what I found. Not feeling sure about making that kind of commitment, I e-mailed Daniel for counsel.

Things happened so fast after that that I’m not sure exactly how it all took place. Within twenty-four hours, Daniel had volunteered to copy the CDs, and had designed an imprint for the CD and a case cover. Jonathan had agreed to make the e-book available to download through the www.uprootinganger.com website (my site that he designed). Our eldest son, Clay, had made a formatting adjustment needed on the document to make it e-book friendly.

I had written out the copyright material to go in the CD case. I just needed to get it printed. However, before I got to the point of checking on printing options, Jonathan stepped in and said he would print it for me. In addition to selling a book, I will also have a CD and an e-book download to sell. A week later I am still overwhelmed by the goodness of God.

In addition, just hours before all this broke loose, I spoke with my daughter. I had asked her counsel on what she would suggest for keeping track of orders, sales, addresses, dollars, sales tax and all the details now my responsibility. On Tuesday morning, she informed me that she was working on a program to fit it to my needs. She is going out of her way to learn the program in order to serve me—and then will teach me to use it.

I’m overwhelmed by God’s goodness and mercy in His provision. I didn’t know where to start. Everything was beyond me. Actually, it still is beyond me. God, through my children, has done it all.

The Lord has repeatedly said, “Be still and know that I am God,” and “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up on wings as eagles.” I don’t feel I did a good job of being still or in waiting on God, but I have, without a doubt, been lifted up on eagle’s wings. I stand amazed at His goodness.

I am also blessed by The Lord’s clear answer as to whether or not to pursue a ministry of promoting the book to the correctional population. We will now move forward with confidence. Uprooting Anger is His book, and I know he has a plan for it. We are now watching and waiting with expectant anticipation, to see what He will do.

I am also blessed by our wonderful children. All four are going out of their way to help me. I can feel their eagerness to serve, and their joy and excitement to be involved in the process. It fills my heart to overflowing. I can see too that they are a gift from God. It is not accidental that they are gifted and trained in areas that lend them helpful at this moment. My heart is full.

In the midst of having a heart overflowing with joy at my children’s love and joy in serving, I can’t help but wonder what it’s like for our Heavenly Father when we serve Him. There have been many times my kids obeyed because they had to. I was grateful for obedience, but it didn’t bless my heart in the same way the last few days have.

It makes me want to bless my Father’s heart. At times I’ve obeyed because I had to, maybe even grumbling on the way. Too often, I’ve gritted my teeth and made the best of the situation, praying that God would be glorified. I don’t want to serve Him that way any more. I want His heart to overflow at my joy and excitement over participating in what He wants me to do. I want to melt His heart with joy and gratefulness.