I like being angry!

Posted Jan 27, 11:57 AM by Kay Camenisch

“I like being angry!” was the reply I got when I suggested to somebody not to do something if it made him angry.

When I questioned him about his comment, he repeated, “I like being angry,” then added, “it makes things happen.”

This week, I’ve focused on the topic of anger as I’ve edited my Uprooting Anger manuscript. I’ve been face-to-face with the Scriptures that tell us to not be angry and to put it away. I’ve been thinking of the teens that I’ve known that were in rebellion because of the anger of their parents, and of the wife that curled up on our couch in a fetal position as her husband began ranting and raving over her.

Like anger? Because it makes things happen? Oh, yes, it makes things happen, but nothing good comes of it; it’s all bad. I was horrified at the thought of liking to be angry. The person who spoke those words was speaking on the spur of the moment, I’m not sure he would stand by the comment, but I kept thinking about it nonetheless.

I didn’t like what I found as I tried to understand. I realized that there have been times when I liked being angry. I liked it because I felt like it would make things happen! The times I remember were times when I was hurt by somebody close—somebody I expected to care for and protect me, not to hurt me. When the hurt was unexpected and deep, I wanted the offender to hurt too. I wanted to hurt in return. I didn’t want to forgive until he/she apologized—or suffered too.

I always worked through it. I always came to a place of forgiving. However, there were times, especially with my husband—the one closest to me—that I hurt back before I forgave. Later, I always regretted the hurt that I caused, but that didn’t necessarily prevent it from happening again. Why? Because in the moment I liked being angry! I thought it could make things happen, that it could even the score.

This week I ran across a quote on Christiancourier.com that fits the situation. It said, “Anger is the weak person’s imitation of strength.” I like anger when I feel wounded and weak. However, the strength that I gain from anger is just an imitation. It’s fake. It doesn’t deliver what I really want, and I always regret what happens through that imitation strength.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 12:10 that he is content, takes pleasure, or thinks good of his times of weakness because it is then that he is strong. When we are wronged and feel weak, we don’t have to make things happen. What we need to do is learn to think good of our weakness. God rarely intervenes when we try to make things happen and defend ourselves instead of trusting Him. It is only as we are weak that God can be strong through us. He will fight for us if we stay weak and yield to Him.

I confess. There have been times that I have liked being angry, but every time I followed my anger it led to regrets. I’m grateful I’ve learned the rewards of seeking the strength of Jesus Christ when I’ve been wronged.